Can hardly keep my hands steady enough to write this, but the excitement is too delicious not to capture. Today, the Human Farm is buzzing, and I’m practically vibrating with anticipation. We’ve hit a goldmine of fresh LPs, and every farm in the network is rallying together to bring them in. This isn’t just another routine pick-up day; it’s a full-scale event.
The website’s been on fire these last few days, with an influx of responses unlike anything we’ve seen. I reached out to the other Femcans across the network to let them know, and one by one, they’re all joining in the hunt, gearing up to bring their share of the stock back to their farms. Femcan Rita was the first to call back, practically shrieking with excitement over the phone, and soon, every farm from the northern woods to the coastal regions is setting up to collect. It’s official: we’re in piggie harvest season.
These LPs are pouring in from all over Canada—Toronto, Vancouver, Calgary, and even the far reaches of the Yukon. It’s like the whole country has been primed for this, each “volunteer” ready to take their place on our farm or another in the network. Each LP comes with their own special background, quirks, and… let’s say “seasoning.” There’s something so thrilling about knowing we’re drawing from across the country, slowly becoming a nationwide phenomenon. There’s even talk of going international soon, but for now, Canada is keeping our freezers stocked, our farms bustling, and every Femcan well-fed.
But let me tell you, the excitement isn’t just in the numbers—it’s in the process. We’ve set up screening stations in every region, a full network working in tandem to make sure only the most suitable LPs are admitted. The screening process is intense; only about half make it through, but that just means more quality control and fresh, promising “material” through the whole pipeline. Those who don’t pass the psychological or physical tests? They’re sorted out before they ever set foot on the farms. Only the most compliant, perfectly trainable LPs are given the “clear for transport” notification. Once they pass, they’re taken straight to whichever farm has capacity.
The piggie bootcamp awaits them upon arrival, a rigorous introduction that weeds out the weak from the strong. It’s grueling, structured, and designed to filter out those who don’t meet the cut. And the best part? Bootcamp only has a 50% pass rate, which means an ongoing supply of fresh meat through the entire process. Every LP who drops out becomes an instant addition to the freezers, ready for processing and storage. The ones who pass? They’re shaped into perfect stock, obedient and disciplined, ready for longer-term plans.
As we speak, my phone keeps buzzing with notifications. More Femcans checking in, more LPs approved. Every few minutes, I’m sending out “pick-up” instructions to the regional farms, letting them know which LPs are cleared and where they’re located. Femcan Zara just reported that she’s sending transport to the prairie region for a group pick-up, and Femcan Mara’s en route to Vancouver for an entire haul of city boys—freshly screened, eager, and oblivious to what awaits them. There’s a constant hum of chatter among us, all of us in a frenzy of preparation. By the end of this haul, every freezer across our farms will be stocked, and every Femcan will be in blissful, meat-filled abundance.
And if all goes well, once all the LPs have been safely delivered, branded, and assigned to their designated farms, there’s talk of a massive celebration right here on the Human Farm. Picture it: every Femcan from the network coming together to feast, toast with blood-red wine, and revel in the bounty we’ve secured. There’ll be meat enough to last for months, but tonight, it’s about the hunt and the thrill of knowing we’re stocking up for the long winter ahead.
The excitement’s only growing as more updates come in. I can barely contain myself.
